Monday, April 2, 2007

Pitch by Pitch: My Opening Day

This should be a national holiday and anyone who doesn't think so is a terrorist (or probably knows one). Its baseball time, boys and girls. Peanuts, crackerjacks and HGH (oops, didn't mean to say that Mr. Selig). I have been playing John Fogerty's "Centerfield" constantly today and doing my best not to wear a rally cap to class (which, yes, I did leave early) and start a synchronized clap. I think I am going to open the doors and windows and pretend that I am watching a game outside...

3:34pm- Home just in time to catch the start of the Red Sox/Royals game. Here's proof hope springs eternal for every teams on opening day. All world minor leaguer and expected Royals savior, Alex Gordon is up in the 1st inning with the bases loaded, 1st AB, facing Curt Shilling. You cant beat this. Maybe ever. An also ran team, everyone still feels like they could knock off the Red Sox and start a magical season toward the World Series.

3:36pm- Baseball is a cruel mistress. Gordon K's in his first at bat. Royals fans are immediately reminded that they suck, the Red Sox are good and Alex Gordon will be in a Yankees uniform in a year and a half (if they are lucky). However, the Royals tied it on a walk. 1-1 going to the top of the 2nd.

3:46- I have just been informed 2 disturbing things. 1) Gil Meche is the 6th opening day starter for the Royals in 6 years and 2) Adam Everett will be batting in the 2 hole for the Astros today. One means your team is going to be the model of inconstancy the other means your team is going to suck. Hmm, that seems to fly in the face of my "hope springs eternal" statement. So, on that note: Here's to Adam Everett and his impending opening day home run. (I kinda thought I would believe that if I typed it...oh well)

4:05pm- No matter what happens today, at least the Cubs and Cardinals are big fat losers on their opening days (My inner Astro wrote that). The Cubs only spent about 450 millions dollars this year, and they still can't win. And self proclaimed Cy Young winner Carlos Zambrano was roughed up for 5 runs and a loss. If there's nothing else to know in sports, its that predictions such as this usually end up in a laughably disastrous season. Which means that we are soon going to hear that Zambrano is out for the year with a broken leg after falling on a squirrel after swinging from the roof of his house trying to adjust his satellite dish (These things happen in baseball, I swear).

4:15- Looking over the box scores it seems that A-Rod is already reaping the benefits of his new comfy and cool baseball cap. Major League baseball's decision to produce a more noggin' friendly cap has apparently resulted in Rodriguez going 2-5 with 2 runs, 2 RBI and 1 HR. No word yet on if his car was set on fire in the parking lot after the game...

4:16- George Brett is being interviewed in the booth during the Royals game. He just decked Joe Morgan for accusing him of tarring up his mike.

4:35pm- Shilling is roughed up big time in the bottom of the 4th. 5-1 Royals. Schilling is one of those guys I have a somewhat irrational hate for (Similar to my feelings toward Tim Duncan). I think it was the whole "Bleeding Sock" incident. You'd think that Bostonians were taking Holy Communion from that sock. It got old. REALLY old. And, personally, I think it was staged. Anyway, this guy hates him A LOT more than me...

4:50pm-In what seems to be the Red Sox strategy of signing any pitcher with a remotely Asian sounding name, Hideki Okajima enters the game for Schilling who officially starts the year with a 11+ ERA... Umm, and can someone let me know when and if it will be appropriate to make the first Hideki Iwo Jima joke. 'Cause you always want to be on the cutting edge of jokes, just not on the Michael Richard's side of that edge, if you feel me...

5:10- Ok, 2 more things 1) I don't like Opening Day coinciding with the NCAA national championship game. This displeases me greatly. I suppose I am willing to forgo attending Opening Day for the Astros so I can watch both at home. But it would be nice if sports could work this busy week out. I know we have the NCAA tourney, MLB season starting, the NBA season heating up at the end and the impending Master's Championship, but can't they work out a deal where I can not have to choose which one I am watching. Thats my only complaint with a week like this in sports. And 2) I don't think I am going to blog the Astros game as originally planned. Trying to watch the game, be nervous, blog, yell at Ausmus and Ensberg and watch Florida/the Ohio State will be too much for my tiny brain to process. So the Astros and NCAA game will get a story, not a blog. Stop crying fans.

5:17pm: By the 7th inning, it is obviously clear that the outfield camera at Kauffman Stadium is directly behind the water fountain in the outfield. Seems like something that could have been taken care of in the past 20 years. I can only imagine it's a camera trick to have the Royals fans think they are so terrible because they are forced to play all their home games in driving rain.

5:26pm- Gil Meche leaves the game after 7.1 innings, 1ER and 6 H. Very nice start to the year. What's up with the Royals making a off season deal that actually improved the team? To be fair, there is plenty of time left for them to "Royals" this up.

5:33pm- Our first mention of Ocatvio Dotel this season... It's a good day...

5:45- Do you think Red Sox fans were kinda wishing this were true?

5:57- The Royals are 3 outs away from "not going winless." Not only will they not lose every single game this years, they will be on pace to go 162-0! That's right. Possibly the first perfect season ever? Who's to say. Anything could happen. It's Opening day. (Those last three sentences rhymed. I am seriously considering selling those lines to Smashmouth. They need another baseball hit to keep them afloat).

6:03- Saw the Astros have the roof closed at Minute Maid. Now I am okay I am staying at home with the windows open.

6:05- That'll do it! Royals begun to pave their way to the World Series. Thanks for joining me on the 7-1 KC win. Enjoy the rest of your opening day. Go Astros!

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