Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Four Months Later, Aggies Post 10 Win Season

After the team dogpiles had cleared and the goal posts had been torn down, Texas A&M coach, Dennis Franchione was all smiles in the team locker room. "You just can't say enough about the hearts of these young Ags," Fran beamed. "When most people tried to convince us the season was over, they pushed on and pulled out one more victory."

The Aggies posted their 10th win this weekend during the annual "Maroon & White" inter-squad match up, held at the conclusion of spring drills. "It was the hardest game we've played all year," said starting quarterback Stephen McGee. "I mean, fans have been telling us we are the greatest team of all time after we beat those sips in Austin. So when we played against each other, we were honestly worried that the amount of awesomeness on the field would cause some sort of rip in the space-time continuum."

Obviously, this is a great step forward for an Aggie team that was embarrassed 45-10 by Cal in their Holiday Bowl appearance. "Of course we were disappointed in our game against Cal," said running back Michael Goodson. "But we weren't gonna let it get us down, 'cause we new we had four months to prepare to play ourselves this weekend and get that loss out of our minds."
With the win A&M expects to move into the top 25 in the final regular season rankings. "Its a big recruiting tool. We can show recruits that we can come into our own place, for and against ourselves, with and without the fans, over come the hostile crowd and use the home field advantage, and battle for a hard earned win and loss," explained Coach Fran.

The Aggie Athletic Department has already sent out new voting ballots to all AP writers and NCAA coaches so they can amend their final rankings based on this weekend's performance. "We know some may not look at this as official," said Athletic Director Bill Byrne as he sprinkled maroon glitter into the envelopes. "But these rankings are for our kids and our fans. If a new poll comes out and we are actually ranked, hell, what Aggie is going to question it? There just gonna be too busy whoopin' up in the faces of all those t-sips who keep throwing national championships down our throat. Look, if the only way we can be a viable football program is by making up wins and conducting our own polls, then by God, that's just what we're gonna have to do."

Texas A&M has also petitioned the Big 12 to host a replacement Big 12 championship game in light of the improved conference record (They did play a Big 12 South team... technically). But when asked why this weekend did not count as a loss, Franchione became suddenly became very defensive. "Look here, Mr. Reporter," Fran threatened. "We had to come up with some very complicated graphs and ven diagrams to explain to our players and fans as to why this does not also count as a loss. As far as we know, they bought it. We think it's because we used maroon lettering and numbers, so we would have more credibility." As a parting comment, Franchione wanted to put the college world on notice that A&M was about to start breaking some big records. "We've already decided that, next year, we are going to begin to factor student intramural games into our win total. Hey BCS, just try and keep a 340 win team out of the championship game!"

1 comment:

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