Friday, October 26, 2007

Even the Collective Loathing of a Nation Cannot Stop Boston

Hasn't this gone far enough? At some point is has to stop, doesn't it? I mean someone has to step in and make it end, right? I don't know if any city has ever gone on a run like this. And if it is possible it seems like we're closer to the beginning than the end of it.

Seriously, the way Boston sports teams are winning is just nauseating. It probably wouldn't be so bad, except for the other things that come with it. Like the fact that you can't do anything sports related without having the city of Boston stuffed down your throat.

It starts with the Boston Red Sox. Sure great, you ended all those years of suffering with a likable team and a story book ending. You captured the heart of the nation. Only you did it with a payroll the size of the Yankees. Your best players came from the Twins, Indians, Marlins, and Diamondbacks (Phillies). You now have so many people that have jumped off the bandwagon, I have at least ten friends that once the playoffs roll around they start singing their allegiances to the Sox, and in between try and figure out who the new players are. I mean last night, they showed Troy Aikman in the stands, completely decked out with Red Sox gear. I mean I always suspected Troy Aikman was a soulless loser, but yeah, that pretty much confirmed it. I'm sure he's been a life long Red Sox fan, you know, growing up in California and Oklahoma, and spending his entire career in Dallas. Yeah, I'm sure that whole love affair didn't start exactly 7 minutes after the Red Sox won game 7 of the 2004 ALCS against the Yankees. The only question is, what did he do with all his Yankees gear? The whole love affair with the Red Sox has taken the exact same course as the Yankees from their Championship Shopping Spree in the 90s. That was a team featuring a bloated payroll and some homegrown talent sprinkled in (Jeter, O'Neill, Williams, Posada). And it has caused the formation of the bandwagon fans that loved the Yankees and the rest of the country that hated them. (Fans and team) And the same thing has happened with the Red Sox. I think I hate them more than I hate the Yankees.

But while all this has gone on, the Patriots have some how formed a dynasty in an era in football where you're not supposed to have dynasties. Early on, they seemed like a good bunch of guys, succeeding with solid talent, a team oriented attitude, and some luck. But as time passed and the wins kept piling up, the Coach Belicheck led Patriots seemed less and less like that likable good bunch of guys, then a bunch of unemotional players led by a coach who comes off more like an arrogant, self-loving, dictator. Throw in a quarterback that becomes less and less likable every time you see him with a supermodel that he will most likely impregnate by week's end. Brady is a great quarterback on a great team, you can't deny that. But when the #1 topic of a Colts broadcast isn't the unbeaten defending super bowl champions, but how the Patriots are the best team in football, you just get to the point where you've had enough. You would think Belicheck is related to every football analyst and Brady has impregnated their daughters the way every football person talks about the Patriots at all times.

Then last night, a new hatred of Boston takes center stage. #2 Boston College, fresh off of playing absolutely no one this season, faced their first true test of the season at #8 Virginia Tech. However, we were told Boston College wouldn't have any problems because of Heisman front runner, and Doug Flutie's love child, Matt Ryan. In a telecast that almost become unwatchable because of Flutie, Matt Ryan played terrible the entire game as the announcers searched for every opportunity to make an excuse. Then in the final three minutes, with Virginia Tech electing to go without a pass rush, Ryan was able to run around for 20 seconds on each play before finding open receiver after open receiver. Virginia Tech's defensive line looked so bad during that stretch it was no wonder that LSU was able to shred them 41-7 earlier this year. The win pretty much secured Ryan the Heisman and left Boston College without very many capable teams of beating them this season. Boston College is not very good, but now we're going to have to listen to Doug Flutie and company sing Matt Ryan's praises this season. The only way BC doesn't get absolutely killed in the National Championship game is if someone in the ACC can knock them off, or Ohio State makes it to the title game so BC can play another horribly overrated opponent. Either way, great, more Boston.

Of course what makes it even better is that the NBA is about to start. Normally that wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact the Celtics just got Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. Coupled with Paul Pierce, Boston is an instant contender in the still pretty pathetic Eastern Conference. I think what makes this worse is that I like Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen. Even Paul Pierce is a pretty likable guy. But I'm positive that by the end of the season, we will be sick of hearing about the three of them and how it is like the Boston of old, while the sporting world sings the praises of the newest "genius" Danny Ainge. It hasn't started yet, but I'm sure it's not far off.

All of this wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the over saturation of the sporting market, and the domination of ESPN, head quartered in Boston, excuse me, Bristol, Massachusetts, excuse me Connecticut. Led by Bill Simmons, ESPN has dove in head first with round the clock Boston coverage. If it hadn't been for the Indians choking away the series, I'm sure the top three stories on Sportscenter would be Manny Ramirez driving a cab to the airport to fly home to the Dominican (Oh, that Manny), an inside look at Patriots camp, that despite popular belief Bill Belicheck actually does put his pants on one leg at a time, followed by a moving story about how Paul Pierce got stabbed 10 years ago, and Kevin Garnett gives him hugs and is dedicating his season to him.

The worst though has to be Bill Simmons. I read him avidly for the longest time because he is a very talented writer with a unique style. But he's gotten so big now that he pretty much as free reign from ESPN to write about the Red Sox, Patriots, and Celtics 24/7. Even with the NBA season (his specialty sport) a few days away, he can get away with posting his napkin notes on the 2008 NBA season as a preview. Instead continuing to smugly continue to write about the Patriots and the Red Sox. I could be wrong, but I can't say that I can stomach reading him anymore since his "Sorry I have to write my one article about Boston sports" has turned into "Sorry, I have to write my one article not about Boston sports".

I just want to be able to turn on a sporting event without having to hear about the Red Sox, Patriots, Celtics, or Boston College. Too bad it's hard to enjoy sports without watching ESPN, ABC, or the NFL. It's getting to the point that I wish the British had won the Revolution or at least destroyed Boston in the losing effort. If only the NHL hadn't ceased being a sport 4 years ago, because don't the Bruins suck?

*Note, all pictures taken from the front page of ESPN today.

4 comments:

perkisabeast said...

We think you neglected to point out how much of Beast Perk is. Kendrick Perkins, the pride of Beaumont Texas, is the mostly beastly thing to come out of Texas since Salt Lick started delivering. Honest truth is, we've kicked Southern ass for so long, it is getting tiresome.

Anonymous said...

the bruins are 6-3 and looking pretty good right now. also, dustin pedroia, kevin youkilis, jonathan paplebon, and jacoby ellsbury, all starters, are homegrown talents and there are many more in the minors (like clay bucholz) waiting to be called up. also, their payroll is still $50 million less than the yankees (there are four teams whose entire payrolls are less than $50 million). also, the whining about boston is starting to become as trite and cliched as "red sox nation" itself. don't you think? i mean, even jay mohr is doing it now.

Rose said...

Amen!!!

Anonymous said...

We rule the country. Never forget that, Texas.